What Makes the Nin
by Kaydern
Summary: Naruto seems to be having trouble with something.... narusasu slash with mentions of inosakura and nejihina
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- The characters and personalities represented in this fanfiction are not the property of one Koori Yuki, nor is she making any money off them. Thankies.

* * *

When Kakashi arrived, he was pleased to note his favorite pupil hadn't left. He'd never put much thought into it, but Sasuke was defiantly his favorite student. He hoped this wasn't because the boy was like him at a similar age- he had been an absolute ass.

Come to think of it, he still was.

"Yo." He said in greeting. The Uchiha crest remained unmoved at Kakashi's announcement.

"You're late." The fan said. Kakashi mentally shook his head. He was exactly three hours late for what Sasuke had asked him to come to. It was supposed to be dinner, but Kakashi wasn't interested in repeating the previous Ichiraku experience. However, by now it was quite dark out, and the nearest source of (artifical) light was from the storefront. As such, all of Sasuke was completely in shadow from Kakashi's vantage point, except for the Uchiha crest. It was illuminated by the starlight, and being the palest object on him, was the most obvious feature about him. It near glowed, and Kakashi pondered that it looked as if the boy was anchored to this world through the table tennis paddle.

"Gomen, I met a beautiful young girl, and she asked me out for dinner..." Kakashi said suggestively.

"So you already ate?" Sasuke deadpanned. Ther was a marked silence before his comment when Naruto and Sakura should have yelled at Kakashi for lying- but both shinobi ignored it.

"Hai." Kakashi stated, sitting down next to his student. He slouched onto the stool, and watched Sasuke's vistage materialize out of the corner of his poorer eye- that is to say, the one that didn't possess Sharingan. The black-haired shinbi was smirking in that ferior way he had. Kakashi smiled at him in his own trademark relaxation.

They sat in silence, which Kakashi waited for his wayward student to break. They were both surronded by the small noises of men and women settling down for the evening, but the older nin felt they were surronded by their own force field of bitchiness. Evidently he was wrong, for after a rather strained silence for him, he heard Sasuke slurp. Belatedly he recognized the boy was actually eating here- and miso ramen at that. Boys would be boys, but Sasuke really wasn't a normal boy. He didn't slurp, and he defiantly did not eat Naruto's favorite food. Kakashi didn't move- but he noted all this with extreme curiousity. He was a curious person, and this trait served him well as a ninja.

The young man finished his ramen slowly, and only a few careful observers would notice he was savoring every bite.

"Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke said, his deep voice unsually quiet.

"Hn?" His sensei asked. Kakashi knew an emotional moment when he heard one coming, and he mentally cheered. Soon he would be able to start betting on the local Jounin pools again. The key, as he had learned, was to keep his expression (what was visable at least) normal. Inwardly he was cackling evilly. He had already been shocked tonight to discover Sasuke did eat ramen- and now he owed Kurenai a hefty bit of yen.

"...every ninja has their own unique aversions... correct?" Sasuke almost asked. I say almost because his well-known pride reared it's pretty head- and what was supposed to be a question came out sounding like threat. This was shaping up to be a rich little confession. The boy was obviously seeking assurance.

"Perhaps." He said placidly. Sasuke twitched.

"What do you mean, perhaps! Look at you! And I've heard one of the Sannin write the books you read! He's more powerful than you, so he's worse about that sort thing than you are." Sasuke growled. Kakashi looked vaguely afronted, although whether this was about Jiraiya being more powerful or more perverted than him was impossible to tell.

"Some ninja with prevertions are just that." It had to be said, Kakashi noted. Sasuke paled considerably at the comment, as well as at the twisting of his words.

"What about your brother?" Kakashi pushed. He knew it was mean, and quite possibly conterproductive for his little mission- but it was a calculated risk. Sasuke opened like a rather femine book when angered enough. To make himself feel better, the Jounin winked at the ramen cook, for she had been stealing glances at him since he arrived. The cook held a hand over her fluttering heart in responce.

The grayhead was pleased to hear Sasuke growl again, until he realized the boy was laughing, at a slightly mentally unstable volume. And that was the downside to baiting fucked up little bishonen- they went loony.

"Oh, he's just as bad as the rest of you." The Uchiha boy said. Kakashi glanced at him inquireingly, the cook forgotten. She left for the back of the shop, her orange skirt swishing in a pout that Kakashi never witnessed.

"Sensei- he wears nail polish." Sasuke said. Kakashi blinked at this, before blushing slightly himself- and snickering. The mental images where quite entertaining.

Sasuke smacked him upside the head. Teacher or not, anyone having naughty thoughts about his brother was creepy!

After Kakashi settled down, the turned to Sasuke. His eyes gleemed, but he ask with all seriousness,

"So what are you worried about? Do you steal pantsu?" Even the infamous Coy Ninja couldn't hold back the interest that seeped into his second question. Sasuke twitched again.

"Of course not!" The Uchiha heir said, before glancing around him in the dark. Kakashi didn't understand why he was so upset- everyone knew ninja stole high school girl's underware- what else did men with the ability to jump across rooftops in perfect silence do?

A look of pure terror crossed the boy's face before he could reign it in.

"Someone's coming!" He whispered. Kakashi sighed- someone had been walking towards the ramen place for the past three minutes.

"Are you sure you don't steal panties? Asuma won't go with me anymore..." Kakashi adpoted a pathetic tone.

Sasuke shot his sensei a venomous glare that would have killed a lesser man.

"Yo Kakashi-sensei! I didn't know you liked ramen!" Said a hyperactive voice from Kakashi's left, sheilding Sasuke from view. The grayhaired man glanced over his shoulder at one of his other students and smiled.

"Yo." He said back to Naruto. Normal people, hell, normal ninja (if there was such a thing) did not eat ramen at 23 at night- but then agian, this was Naruto. The blonde plunked down on the stool next to Kakashi and ordered a bowl of pork, once again proving himself a genetic freak- no one normal could survive and thrive on nothing but ramen- but as we have already stated, this is Naruto we're talking about. It wasn't worth questioning the absurdites surronding the fox boy, Kakashi reminded himself. Naruto sighed at shook his head angerly.

"Man, that's the third time someone's left their binoculars outside my bathroom window! Mouuu! This is annoying!"

* * *

a/n - (smiles) Now, that was fun to write. Enjoy

Shameless Plug- Go stare at my other story, Dissension!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. Naruto and it's characters certainly don't belong to me. This fanfiction is a work of (hella crazy!) fiction, and I am making no profit from this, aside from my amusement. Warning: This story contains slash, as in, (perhaps eventually) hot mansmex. If that's not for you, please bugger off.

* * *

Kakashi liked to pretend be was a cautious man. It made Hokage of all ages, creeds and genders feel a little better. He supposed it must be at least partially true. After all, he had outlived at three of them now. However, the Jounin didn't actually consider himself particularly careful. Just very, very lucky.

There were several reasons for this. Firstly, he was a ninja. The average life expectancy of a nin was about 40 years, and there was no way he could be careful enough to live much past that. Secondly, he had been part of the ANBU and left. As if being in the special forces wasn't enough, he'd left behind a reputation as hellion. More hidden villages than he bothered to remember had nin with grudges against him. Not only had he left the only place to maintain any level of appropriate training, and now he traveled with small children. And now, he was part of the Jounin betting pool.

He generally considered this to be the most dangerous decision of his career, surpassed only occasionally by his leadership of Team Seven.

It wasn't that the betting pool could physically end his life... Kakashi stepped past the numerous ninjustu guarding the door, including the one involving a half-plucked chicken. He smiled politely to the Sound nin masquerading as an ANBU and the fellow nodded back. There was no formal neutral ground that all nin agreed on, but the Jounin betting pool had been lost by Tsunade at one time or another to every Kage (she had held the original deed for years at a time) so that many nin considered it safe. Recently Tsunade had lost the deed to Orochimaru himself- something about Sasuke and Naruto. Understanding the snake Sannin would leave one of his underlings around- secure his investment. Despite the change in hands, very little around here would differ.

Kakashi brushed past most of the inter Jounin betting, surreptitiously glancing at on of the charts as he slouched past.

"Kuso." He was still the only Jounin who had been caught stealing panties. He knew there must be more, his own g -strings were all missing. More importantly, his rival and friend in the art, Asuma, had given up the time-honored tradition among mature, grown men to steal lacy otherthings of young women. Kurenai seemed to be making an honest man of him. Absently the teacher wandered if Sasuke would join him. The rooster's eye curled closed in the humor of that thought. The boy could use some action- to keep his mind off other things.

On that note- Kakashi veered away from the inter Jounin betting and entered the most intense betting pool in the building.

The Rookie Nine pool. Never had Kakashi made his way towards Maito's team, raising his eyebrows at some of the bets. Even though none of that year's team were still Genin, their generation had some of the most heavily contested bets running. They included everything form Ino's weight to when one of the Chunin would pass the exam.

Kakashi remembered why he was here and waked purposefully to the section devoted to his team. After wincing, he confirmed Kurenai's bet that Sasuke ate Ramen, adding a picture he had snapped the night before. He sighed. Naturally it was a sharp insult that another Jounin knew more about his team than he did, but Kakashi just hated buying her Ramen. She could be as hungry as Naruto when someone else was buying. Luckily he hadn't raised the bet to buying shortcake, that woman could really pack away pasteries. Besides she'd stolen his pantie-buddy.

Thank the gods he still had one ace up his sleeve. He turned to another section on team seven, focusing on Naruto and Sasuke. This section was practically the pride and joy of the pool. Few pools in the entire hall brought as many betters. Kakashi had seven seen Orochimaru and Uchiha Itachi place bets in person. Confirmed bets were hung on the wall, including a copy of the bet between Tsunade and Orochimaru that had won free rental of the pool and a hefty portion of the profit for three years. Kakashi looked closely at the document. Hn. Interesting. Sasuke had helped prank Gaara.

Whelp, time to win back some money. The gray-haired started sorting through the bettings until he reached the section on Naruto and Sasuke's emotional relationship. There were several different bets, one which included an ongoing private bet between Gai and Iruka about whether the boys would save each other or kill each other-oh. Looks like the bet had been discontinued after the Valley of the Gods.

"...Iruka has a filthy mouth." Kakashi observed as he read the comments left by the Chunin teacher.

He continued searching, hoping he wasn't too late. Nothing could have been confirmed. It was only last night when he'd seen Sasuke at the Ichiraku.

"Well, fuck." It wasn't there. Maybe something could be salvaged from any bets on stalking passing between the boys? He started shifting through the extra bets and notes that were collected for the benefit of pool.

Terribly dismayed at the thought of opening a bet. It would have to be public, and Hokage knew he couldn't afford to back that. The Jounin started to walk away when a stray sheet of paper caught his eye.

Replacing the stack with something that could pass for care on a rainy day, Kakashi snatched the floating sheet before it could wander away. It was a copy of just the type of bet he was looking for. A public bet on the boys hooking up. You could specify a prediction down to the minute, as well as who would serve as seme and uke. Utterly perfect. He turned to the second scroll, and what he saw gave him pause.

Then he started laughing. He didn't stop until the cleverly disguised Sound nin pretending to be a law-abiding Leaf citizen asked him if anything was wrong. The laughter slowly subsided then out of habit. Still holding in a few chuckles, Kakashi nodded.

"I am fine." He muttered, and the Sound nin wandered back to the section on Anko. The weekly special included a bet on what the woman wore under her fishnet. Naturally, the confirmation picture was worth more than the bet itself. Most men would be willing to sacrifice a third of the body parts Anko would remove if they ever got a picture of her in just fishnets.

Kakashi pondered the object of his laughter. Obviously, those unwilling to taint their reputation could chose a code name. Hizashi Hyuuga tried once, but most people knew who it was within a day. In a hidden village, very little wasn't known by the whole population. As if the betting pool wasn't evidence enough. Oddly enough, whenever someone tried to hide something, the whole community felt like they had been informally challenged when someone kept secrets. Suffice to say, the best way to keep a secret wasn't.

"Of course, I doubt that's what he had in mind." Kakashi laughed to himself. Using his most legible handwriting, the rooster Jounin scribbled a date and time two days after the initial bet. Just to light a fire under the insufferable boy's ass.

Naturally, you could choose a pseudonym or symbol to hide your identity... but Kakashi doubted that was what the author of this bet as in mind.

He added a small note.

"Naruto doesn't receive official Jounin rank for another two weeks."

The gray haired man chuckled once more and carefully set down the bet.

On the second sheet, in the author's designated betting slot, was the name "Rokudaime" and a bet that Sasuke would be dating Naruto. In three months. As the uke.

Somewhere Sasuke sneezed.

* * *

A/N- Yeah. Fun stuff. Review welcome. For the record, I have two more chapters of this, because for some odd reason I couldn't leave this as a one-shot. Feel free to yell. No flames please. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. Naruto and it's characters certainly don't belong to me. This fanfiction is a work of (hella crazy!) fiction, and I am making no profit from this, aside from my amusement. Warning: This story contains slash, as in, (perhaps eventually) hot mansmex. If that's not for you, please bugger off.

* * *

"Naruto's late. Again." Sasuke growled. Oh course, the blond bastard had promised to take team seven out tonight, but Sakura had cancelled at the last minute. The dark-eyed Uchiha hissed in irritation. Heavens forbid Naruto back out of the awkward situation. And to make matters worse, that is to say, more damning for the spunky blond, Sasuke was running behind schedule. Since he wasn't a precious pink-haired medic-nin, there was apparently no reason to hurry. Slice his throat with a poisoned kunai!

"Dobe." He muttered affectionately. Just two months ago they had both completed the Jounin exams, four years after their female companion. Not through any technical fault. They had fought against each other during the first round of eliminations and knocked each other out. They had been unable to complete the exam that time and were forced to wait four agonizing years to try again. In that time they had been forced to train together, and Naruto had eventually learned which apartment the raven haired boy lived in.

Sasuke had jealously guarded that secret since his Genin days, fearing first his brother, then raving fangirls and finally the attention of Naruto's pranks. Now he mostly feared the latter, as the rest were dead or married. As such he wasn't as surprised as he should be to find a note stuck to his small fridge when he entered his small kitchen.

He was seething once he read it.

"Sassy-cakes-

Don't worry about being late. The time I told you is a half-hour early. Remember your formal digs, dattebayo. The restaurant Sakura picked sure is fancy!

-Your favorite enemy"

There was no name, but for such an outrageous note there could only be one writer. The heat of Sasuke's Fireball left a scorch mark on the poor fridge (one of many). However Sasuke felt this was necessary. He faced enough stress from fellow Jounin. Only once had one of them had the audacity to say Sasuke tolerated Naruto's crass nicknames. After having broken a few objects in the hall to prove otherwise, as well as a nose or two, Naruto had proceeded to ignore the latent threat. In any event, Sasuke preferred to think of it as compressing all his death-glares until when he finally gave Naruto a piece of his mind, there wouldn't be enough pieces of the insufferable blond to bury.

A moment later the contents of Naruto's note set in. "... fuck." Sasuke dashed back into his bedroom and striped out of his ANBU uniform in record time. Normally this would fit the bill for formal occasions, but generally when Naruto recognized formal wear was required, he meant it. Even a village mostly populated by ninja, there were places it was considered bad taste to wear clothes you'd covered in the blood of innocents, no matter how well you washed it.

Instead Sasuke reached into his trunk and pulled out a hakama. He hadn't worn it since Shikamaru's marriage, but it would suffice. It was midnight blue, nearly the same hue as his hair, and it had the Uchiha clan symbol embroidered on the back, so it was only faintly visible in the right light. He shrugged it on.

could still remember his sexual innuendo phase, much as he tried not too. While he as fumbling for the correspond sandals, his eyes drifted over the kanji he's acquired on one of his various solo missions. Naruto. Thankfully the dobe had never quite mastered hiragana, sparing the dark-haired man from having to explain that one. This time Sasuke's lips curled into a sneer. The kyubbi holder had always been insufferable. Sasuke

He had never been able to decide which was worse, when the blond bubble knew what he was saying, or when he didn't. He could still recall the day, sometime after Naruto's 17th birthday, when Kiba had foolishly made a questionable joke in team seven's presence. Sakura's reaction intrigued Naruto, and he'd followed Kiba for days, learning all his bad jokes without a white of comprehension.

For weeks afterwards he would retort to anything with 'your mom said that last night' or something equally horrible. Jiraiya, probably alerted via his fervent pupil Kakashi, had taken Naruto aside one day for many hours. The boy had returned with in silence with a stricken expression. Uchiha had assumed that was the end of that, until the next day he asked to borrow Kakashi's copy of Ichi Ichi Paradisu, which he flew through. And the sequels. And all the alternative versions. The jokes had been replaced with something far, far worse. An overwhelming sense of understanding smirks.

Sasuke shuddered. These had been the worst yet, since even five years later he hadn't quite given up the winks. And lately the knowing looked he'd directed Sasuke's way had been far too, well, knowledgeable.

A knock with a random rhythm sounded through the apartment.

"Hn. Finally." Sasuke muttered, pleased that he had an excuse not to think about Naruto any more. He spent far too much time doing just that. Just that moment, he found his sandals. "Dobe." He rolled his eyes, walking at a leisurely pace to the apartment door. Let the blond bastard wait, he'd kept Sasuke waiting far longer on occasion.

When he finally opened his door, he immediately narrowed his red eyes to a glare.

"You're not dressed formally." He intoned, voice icy. Naruto didn't respond for a moment, and Sasuke made to shut his door. Almost unconciously Naruto reached out a hand to stop him. After a minute he cleared his throat and looked Sasuke in the eye.

"Sorry. You look... ravishing, Sass-uff!" This time he did slam the door, barely giving his fellow ninja time to remove his hand from the door-jam. His cheek was... warm.

"Dobe." He said to the door.

"Oh come on. I didn't mean it. The sassy part anyway. You're more of a brooder." Came Naruto's voice through the door. Sasuke waited. "And you know I don't have any formal wear." he added.

Sasuke knew for a fact Naruto had a slim sky-blue hakama that he'd bought for an undercover mission in the Tea Country. But this was hardly common knowledge. In fact, that he knew this hakama proved he'd snooped much more than was strictly healthy. Or legal, for that matter. As such he recognized he'd lost this arguement by dropping his formal sandals, slipping his feet into them and still not opening the door. Naruto waited through this is the utmost patience a hyperactive nin was capable of.

When Sasuke did open the door again, his companion had the good grace to look ashamed.

"I did try to look nice, you know." He whined. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

He supposed this was true. Naruto had traded in his garish orange armored vest for a more sedate color. He couldn't quite give up his black scarf, which ruffled at the worse possible time. Belatedly the Uchiha realized it had been a gift from him. A cursory glance showed Naruto had also removed the more obvious pieces of his arsenal, and throughly cleared his uniform. Still, there was no need to admit this.

"Let's go." He growled. Naruto's face brightened considerably, and he nodded.

They waked mostly in silence until they neared what Sasuke recognized as on of the nicer restaraunts in town. He was a little surprised to recognize so many of the old Genin nine dressed formally in the crowd. However he became highly suspicious when he recognized Sakura and Ino holding hands no so far away. They were looking sickeningly romantic.

"Why did you say Sakura couldn't come?" He asked guardedly, suddenly aware he hadn't brought more than a small set of kunai, shuriken and wire. Naruto shrugged.

"She suggested it actually. It seemed like common sense at the time." He explained.

"Why?" Sasuke asked, slightly nervous.

"Shouldn't our first date be alone?" Naruto responded foundly.

Sasuke, who had feared his friend was being impersonated by an enemy nin, didn't quite register the implications of Naruto's admission immediately. This was probably for the best, as it gave him time to run like hell.

* * *

A/N- See, look. Naruto's my hero. He's obviously not an idiot... half the time. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any monies off it.  
Warning: This has slash. Of the NaruSasu variety. So yeah, that means Naruto's all over that hot Uchiha ass. That's right, mansex afoot! Women and children evacuate first!

* * *

Neji said she was getting better, and Hinata always had the good sense to believe him. Neji wouldn't lie to make her feel better, he didn't see the benefit in it. Still, there were times the Hyuuga heir was still rendered completely speechless. Seeing Naru-kun and Uchiha-san on a date together was one of those times.

Sure, this restaurant was one of the nicest couples places in the village, and at the Godaime's request many of the Jounin from the infamous unfinished exam had been gathered, but... Sasuke and Naruto?

It wasn't like same-sex couples bothered her. She was good friends with Sakura and Ino, and was used to hearing them communicate their special brand of flirting. One that, she suspected, without careful observation looked a lot like fighting.

And she knew Naruto liked men as well as women. The one time he had suggested taking her shopping, she'd noticed he glanced under both male and female dressing room doors. She had greatly enjoyed that shopping trip, even though she had barely pieced together four words the entire time. Mostly she snuck peeks up at Naruto, who had hit his growth spurt late and shot above most of the competition. She especially remembered the end, when Naruto had confessed he wasn't good at all at this sort of thing. Perhaps she should ask Neji?

That hadn't worked out remarkably well, so far. At the time she had been far too nervous to ask him, but recent events made her hopeful. She touched her cousin's hand lightly, and his blind-seeming white eyes flashed towards her. Absently she catalogued what he must be seeing on her face: shook, worry, anxiousness. His expression hardened, the corner of his mouth tightening.

"Hinata-san, you remember what I said." He whispered. She certainly did. Her father had strongly urged the two Hyuugas to betrothal, linking the strong Neji-niisan back into the family. When she had been near giving in simply to please her father, head of the clan, Neji had sharply interjected, despite strict rules on branch class behavior. He had looked in the eye and told her he would never commit to this union until he knew it was what she wanted. It had been an embarrassing moment, being singled out like that. Yet even then she realized how humiliating this must be for proud Neji-niisan. What started out in her mind as a resounding "Yes" reached her lips as an "I want to try dating f-f-first."

So here they were, their first date. Naruto and Sasuke's too, if their uncomfortable posture was any indication. Reminded of her initial goal, she shook her head at Neji.  
"That's not it. Naruto-san and Uchiha-san." She admitted, barely managing to incline her head in their direction. She could have sworn a look of relief crossed his face before he looked their way. And froze.

For a foolish moment she was afraid she'd broken her cousin, but finally Neji breathed out.

"Great Hokage. I don't believe it." He whispered, dropping his calm in utter befumblement. Hinata blushed, which was as close as she had gotten to laughter.

"Do you want..." She drifted off, falling into the subtle language of signs the Hyuuga family used in battle 'watch?' She finished silently. Neji nodded. Despite their upbringing, they were ninja, after all. Spying on other people was what they were built for. In moments they were settled into recon formation, a situation which they where often placed in.

Before they could continue verbally, Tsunade stepped to the front of the crowd, between them and the restaurant's guest. Hinata was sure she was saying something terribly important about why they were gathered here, but the people around her didn't think so. Curiously enough, neither did Tsunade, who was already swaying under the influence of sake.

"Sasuke just pulled a kunai on him." Neji whispered.

"W-who?" Hinata gasped (still quietly polite).

'Naruto' Neji explained in sign.

This shocked Hinata, who immediately assumed the worst. She'd chosen to bring few weapons in her kimono, but she wasn't sure if she could defend against enemy nin. Especially one powerful enough to impersonate Naru-chan or Uchiha-san. Neji laid an arm on her shoulder, shaking his head. The veins around his eyes were throbbing, like they often did after using the Byakugen. Clearly both men were the real deal, chakra-streams don't lie. Tsunade's final lines, chakra-enhanced, passed out over the milling crowd.

"In short, I've booked the restaurant for you all tonight. Feast on Konoha!" She shouted, hardly slurring her words. If Hinata was a lesser woman, she would been impressed by how much that woman could pack away. The doors opened then, and guests started moving in.

When Hinata finally worked up the courage to sneak a glance, Sasuke was simply glaring at Naruto. Apparently the domestic dispute between the boys had been put aside for now. It was much harder to tell, but their body language indicated they were both a little nervous. She caught Neji's eye, and they moved as one to a table near the men.

However the blind-eyed cousins remained quiet through much of the dinner, and when the waiter reached their table, her awkwardness returned full force. Up until now she had been able to pretend this was some sort of mission, but once again she was faced with reality. She was on a date with Neji-san for the first time, in a very nice restaurant, surrounded by friends and close comrades. She squeaked when he asked what they would have to drink, and Neji kindly ordered first, helping to finish her sentences when they ran on too long. She smiled her gratitude when the waiter had left, but he, always the practical one, pointed towards the dinner menus. Hinata paled at the idea of another ordeal with the polite waiter.  
Once again, Neji slowly walked her through this, actually choosing to order the same thing as her so all she had to stammer out was.

"The s-s-same please." While they sat mostly in silence, Neji would occasionally attempt conversation about missions. He studiously avoided the issue of medic-nin, and Hinata didn't have the fortitude to mention it didn't bother her.

Originally she had tried out for medic-nin training, thinking about how she liked to help people. Kiba had followed her, boasting loudly about studying under the Hokage. Unfortunately her father had expressly forbidden her training when he heard about it, claiming she wouldn't bring the family honor that way. Soon after a certain high-ranked blond had given

the Hyuuga head a piece of his mind about the difficulties and prestige in the medic-nin profession. Eventually her father had rescinded his command, but during the intervening time  
Hinata had quietly learned she had no talent for the medical craft. Kiba, on the other hand, had gone on with Akamaru to become one of the most famous medic rescue teams in history.  
Thinking about such good stories Kiba brought with him helped to sooth her, and soon she was able to talk in whole sentences over the main course. She even related one of Kiba's bawdy tales, and was surprised to see Neji smile. Like her, he had his own way of laughing.

Then his expression turned contemplative.

"I think they're using a sign language." He said softly.

"How could they?" She responded just as quietly. It had taken her months to learn the complicated Hyuuga signing, and it had been established for hundreds of years.

"Don't know." Neji muttered, leaning over, to eat. However, he was busy signing furiously. 'They are the only ANBU captains who occasionaly collaborate. No doubt about it, they are signing a conversation. They haven't said a word, but their expressions keep changing.' As co-captains, they would need to communicate invisibly, even over their companions. They probably had developed their own signs. 'Their body language changes as well.' He added. Hinata also took a nibble of her dinner, pondering this. The Byakugan was no Sharingan, it wouldn't crack any codes on it's own. However Neji was exceptionally good at body language, even among their family. He was also trained in understanding code language to compliment his eyes.

'Could you read it?' Hinata signed, now sipping her drink.

'I could try.' He responded. His cousin marveled at the lengths he was going to. Hinata had been curious about what was happening in her friend's life, but Neji usually didn't bother in what he called 'gossipmongering'. She didn't flatter herself to think it was for her, Neji had never expressed interested in her.

She nodded her agreement, and Neji's eyes closed, the veins on the side of his face bulging. Belatedly she realized that they were, after all, in a community of ninja. Someone was bound to notice Neji's posture, or the telling veins. Extremely anxious, she considered the angles, eventually breathing a sigh of relief. No one was likely to notice the veins because of the angle of his hair, which distorted everyone else's view of his temples. After a few tense moments, she realized the waiter was coming around with a dessert menu. She panicked, knowing the waiter would notice Neji being unresponsive (he was currently engaged in code-breaking) and she was unable to distract him, let alone order a dessert. What if she ordered something Neji didn't like?

A quick glance at Neji showed he was deeply submersed in code-breaking, his lips moving silently with his eyes closed.

"N-n-neji?" She whispered, unable to manage a louder voice. The waiter was already moving closer, uminously so.

'Think Hinata, think! What would Neji-niisan say?'

'Act like it's a mission.' She added, knowing Neji was unlikely to say anything otherwise.

'Remember the setting. Surreptitious, use natural actions to alert me of the danger. My effort is wasted if we get caught, either by my silence or the wrong actions to rouse me.' That certainly sounded like him. 'You're a member of the Hyuuga main branch. Of course you can!' That last part was more like what she wished he would say.

'We're on a date, what natural action could I use to get Niisan's attention when speaking doesn't work?' She grasped for a plan.

'A k-kiss?' She stuttered mentally. 'Remember, you're a Hyuuga, you can do it!' She thought.

'It's a mission, it's a mission, it's-a-mission!' And she leaned forward to peck Neji on the cheek. His response was immediate- he jumped back and his eyes flew open, Byuakugan failing him. A hand touched his own cheek in shock. Much like Hinata's, it was bright pink.

"G-good job." He said, upon taking stock of the situation. Her cheeks grew redder, if it was even possible. "Thank you." He added.

Neji ordered their dessert, and they sat in silence until it arrived. Finally, Hinata, curiously warring with nervousness, started conversation.

"How's dessert?" She asked, while signing 'How did it go?' Neji's shrugged.

"It's alright." 'They were planning another date, I think' He signed. Hinata blinked.

"I agree." 'How was it hard to tell. You cracked the code, right?' Hinata communicated, her hands nearly fumbling.

'I don't think Sasuke knows it's a date. What do you think?'

'Give it a moment.' She responded. While everyone knew Neji was better at interpreting individual gestures and body language, when they worked together on missions Hinata was left to summarize all that data. Neji had once said she was best at diagnosing, while he could find the symptoms. In her mind, she gathered everything she had learned tonight and any other time Naru-chan and Uchiha-san interacted.

On the Boys: While the men did argue religiously, they worked together seamlessly when the situation called for it. Developing their own sign language was an example of this. To use it showed they preferred to interact politely in a group setting, considering their relationship private. Both men were attracted to each other, although neither wished to admit it. And if Sasuke refused to admit they were going on other dates, Naruto might not have made the nature of this dinner clear to him. Or maybe he had, that would explain the kunai being drawn. However, even Hinata couldn't imagine what Naruto had said to calm him.

By now dessert was almost over and the other guests were starting to leave. Naruto left with Sasuke, although the dark-haired nin looked upset about it, Hinata could tell he was pleased. That clinched it.

She leaned close to Neji-niisan and told him her thoughts.

"I-I think Naruto is s-s-seducing Sasuke." She whispered, a little disturbed herself. "And..." Neji waited. "... and I think it will work."

They both sat back to fully absorb that one. Neji looked thoughtful.

"If it wasn't you who said it, Hinata-san, I would never had believed it." He whispered back. His cousin was shocked that he held so much confidence in her. "I think I might have to visit the Jounin betting pool." He muttered.

This surprised Hinata, who knew Neji never bet, but she didn't allow it to distract her from a question that had been brewing in her mind all night.

"Neji-niisan. You don't really think being part of the head clan makes any difference... do you?" She squeaked, a little disturbed to have used so many words.

Neji turned to look her full in the eye, his expression difficult to follow. "I don't, no. I think maybe it's just you who is strong." He said.

"M-me?" She gasped. Surely Neji was joking! He nodded assent, confirming her question. "W-why?"

"Because no matter how much I've wanted to, I haven't been able to kiss you." He murmured.

He walked her home with his hand in hers, and Hinata's heart beat wildly the whole way.

* * *

Yay! Time to thank all my lovely reviewers, who make my day. Every day. Less than three, you guys.

Native Sakura- Gods, I should have done this ages ago! I'm sorry it took so long to thank you in chapter form.  
Smoking Panda- Hot dogs at a barbecue! You reviewed twice! Lots of love and happiness for you.  
Rosemary- Agreed. One day, when I finish a story, I will go back through and check grammar. Arigato for reading through the mistakes.  
hujin- Indeed, sirrah. Indeed. Kakashi is pretty baller like that.  
geep44- Dudecakes! I earned an extra O. I hope that's a good thing.  
blue leafy- Oh, giggles. I'm so happy!  
Sandra- A high compliment indeed. Sorry again on the delay.  
Kiwee- Hah. Yeah, I never thought of Naruto as that dense. He's real ninja! Now you know what I really think of him.  
Alana-StarSugarCat- Hee.  
rry- Thank you!  
Azamiko- (happy face) Yay!  
Yuyuxchan- Thanks for the encouragement- and sorry it's taking/took so longish.  
Kyra Date- Ah, if you're still around I can explain it to you. Just let me know!  
rabidbutterfly- Hot damn. Exactly the response I was looking for. How did you know? (brain melts out of sheer joy)  
book-manga-freak- Ho yes. I'm glad you agree. And from such thoughts, the Jounin betting pool was created. 'Cause damn if Konoha Jounin don't have enough time to snoop into their neighbor's business.  
Shadowtrade- He's a troublesome one alright. Thanks for the lurve!one!  
CaveDwellers-Ask and you shall receive. Don't worry, the rest should be just as entertaining. I hope you think so, anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any monies off it.  
Warning: This has slash. Of the NaruSasu variety. So yeah, that means Naruto's all over that hot Uchiha ass. That's right, mansex afoot! Women and children evacuate first! (since if the boys leave, who will we have to videotape for later?)

* * *

Personally Sakura didn't like flower shops. Whenever she entered one, she was reminded of her Gennin, back in their childhood when Ino'd been the image of womanhood surrounded by flowers and smiling softly. What a waste of a kunoichi she'd almost been then! Now, it wasn't that Sakura didn't like femininity and all that, but she also remembered when Ino had confessed she was engaged to a local boy. It had nearly killed her then, mere months before the Chunnin exams, to learn that her best friend and rival would be leaving their playing ground to, well, stop being a ninja. She'd thought about what a waste it seemed, when a girl with such wondrous talents would never make fun of her forehead as an ANBU. 

More importantly, she couldn't stand the idea of losing her Ino to childbirth and wifery and all that. Hokage, what a waste it would have been!

Absently she checked her eyeshadow in a glass vase. The reflection didn't look too hideous. As odds would have it, the shape of the vase exaggerated her forehead. She chuckled.

"What's so funny, Most-beautiful-woman-in-Konohagakure?"

Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin, until she recognized that most irritating of voices. "Naruto! What the hell were you trying to do to me?" She screamed (not shrieked. Naruto knew what would happen to him if he ever suggested-)

"Why're you screech at me like that? I was laying you a compliment, Sakura-chan!" And if it was at all possible, his voice became even more annoying as it slid into whiny mode. She grit her teeth and turned around to glare at the fox-faced brat. Her glare was in no way diminished by the fact she had to crane her neck upward for it to reach it's mark. Naruto had the good grace to wince. "Oh, come on. You know I was just playing with you." He confessed, sounded very nearly contrite. Sakura accepted this as the best she would get, waving a hand to indicate her forgiveness. This time. Instantly, the blonde whirlwind brightened and waved to Ino, who was currently managing the flower shop. She now owned the store, but she only worked her during the off-time between missions.

Ino waved back, obviously surprised that Naruto had snuck all the way to the back of the store without her noticing. Sakura wasn't amused, but she had let him off the hook. It was too late now to change her mind. So she stuck out her tongue at his back.

"Hey now, lovely lady. You'd better share that unless you plan to use it."

Sakura punched him in the face.

* * *

A few minutes later, after Ino had gotten him a chair, an icepack and reprimanded her pink-haired friend harshly, Naruto finally got around to his point. 

"YOU want flowers?" Ino shrieked. "Who in Yondaime's name would... would..."

"Date me?" Naruto smirked then. "Actually, it's a bit of a present for Iruka. Part of a housewarming gift."

"But he's a-" Sakura started, then stared at Naruto seriously. She knew he was a smartass but, "You little snot." She finished. "You're making fun of Iruka? Pretending he's the wife?"

Naruto merely smiled that foxy smile of his.

They spent an hour creating what Ino called 'the Perfect Arrangement'. Sakura realized halfway through the whole ridiculous process that Iruka was allergic to flowers. She waited until the end of her shift to hunt the rascal down. Luckily, Ichiraku's was the easiest place to find. It's gaudy orange colors stuck out like a sore thumb.

* * *

"Alright you twat. Who're they really for?" Sakura hissed in Naruto's ear. To her everlasting delight, he sprayed Pork Ramen all over Ayame. Not that she didn't like Ayame. She just loved catching Naruto unawares. Thus she patiently waited while Naruto bowed and fussed his way out of Ayame's hate, then stared mournfully at his half-wasted bowl. He-Naruto it was amazing how much energy he had for a Hokage-in-training. She would running away from Tsunade would sap anyone's energy (it certainly had given her a high tolerance for pain). But anyway. "So?" She reminded him of her waiting. 

Naruto did a brief double-take, with his second glance becoming a small frown. "What makes you think they aren't for Iruka-sensei?" Here he grinned. "He does make such a lovely mother-figure." This Sakura brushed aside with a wave of her hand.

"You told me he was allergic to flowers, idiot!" She growled.

"I-oh. Hey yeah, I did. Good sleuthing Sakura!" Naruto smiled, and slapped her on the back.

"Oh no you don't! Tell me now, Naruto." Unconciously Sakura found her fist raised and aimed towards Naruto's rather impressive foreheadbruise. Her fellow ninja made and adorably sad face, then paid for his Ramen.

"Let's walk, for old time's sake, eh?" His voice sounded strangely subdued. How could she say no?

It wasn't until they reached a quieter part of town that Naruto started talking again.

"I-you can't tell anyone, okay? This is serious stuff, Sakura-chan." He said quietly.

"What did you say?" Wow was he talking softly. This was nothing like the blond nut she was used to.

"I said, you can't tell- you know what, nevermind. This was stupid." He growled, voice becoming pouty (a tone she had heard far to often before his birthday) and distant. She kicked him in the shin.

"Who. Is. It." She punctuated each word with a tightening of the hand on his scarf, refusing him the right to run. She was meaner than him, dammit!

They stopped a on a bridge over a small stream, the same one Naruto had showed off by 'walking on water' on, she recalled. It was a nice place, this village. She waited for him to speak. Sometimes, sometimes it seemed there was more to her blond friend than he let on.

Now was one of those times, and it showed in the way his whole demeanor changed. He became obvious in observing all their surrondings, which she assumed meant he didn't want to be overheard with a passion bordering on paranoia. How crazy, since from the moment she had met him, all Naruto wanted was to be noticed. Well, now she had to know what was going on.

"Well, you see. There is someone, someone special those flowers are for." He admitted haltingly. Sakura resisted the urge to begin salivating as just how juicy this confession was going to be. She'd never gotten even a whiff of Naruto being attracted to someone, and now this? What was it, someone from another village? A wanted nin? An affair?

For a moment he seemed to lose his nerve, pausing to lean on the bridge railings. "Ach. How can I explain. Well, first things first Naruto. Start with the basics. It's like this Sakura," He turned to her, looked deep into her eyes and said,

"I'm in love with Sasuke." His eyes sort of bugged when he said this, like the strain had been to much to stand.

Sakura stared at him for a moment. "Oh. Is that all?" She exclaimed, voice nearly cheery. Naruto's eyes did that bug thing again.

"Wh-WHAT? How can you be like 'oh, is that all' when I've agonized over this forever? This is ridiculous! You don't think I'm serious do you? That's it, you don't think I'm serious. Well I've thought about it, and I've thought and I've thought and I've- and I want to marry the vampiric little shit! I want to wake up next to him and make fun of his bedhead and get pushed off the bed! I want to hold hands and do a great many other things that involve absolutely no clothes! Or we could try it with clothes, that would be kinky. Vampiric! I want him to bear my children!" Naruto panted with, well, passion. Sakura continued to stare at him in abject amusement.

"So you bought him flowers?" She deadpanned. Honestly. She supposed everyone had been waiting for something like this to happen (Tsunade with disappointment, since that was two kick-ass bloodlines lost) since Sasuke came back. He'd been locked in the most secure prison cell in the history of everyone, which hardly seemed worth it since he was staying there of his own free will, when Naruto had pulled every string (and a few hairdos) to get him that get-out-of-jail free card. It had been... undeniably sweet. And suddenly, every ninja with an ounce of preservation instincts had stopped pursuing Sasuke, had backed off Naruto. At the time it had been largely on accident, giving them their space, joking about how crazy they were. Well, Sakura had known then. Luckily she'd already set her sights on another blonde ages back.

Naruto huffed, deflated. "Well, I-" He stopped and shook himself. "I was hoping you could give me some advice. I mean, you've known him as long as I have and all." He confessed weakly.

So. Naruto had known Sakura would see through his excuse, be interested in gossip enough to beat the truth out of him, just to ask for advice? That slimy little-! "There are cheaper ways to ask for help, you know." She finally said through gritted teeth. Naruto shrugged.

Sakura pushed him off the bridge. Something occured to her, and she asked Naruto when he resurfaced.

"You are going to pay for those flowers, right?" She called down to him.

"But, they were just a prank!" He yelled back up.

"So? Ino put her heart and soul into those!" She argued. No way she would let her baby down. And now she could convince Ino to up the price just a bit, as payback.

"But Sakura-chan!"

"No buts!"

"Will you at least help me?"

"Fine." What made Naruto think she knew anything more about romancing pale, evil little men anyway?

However, by the time they had sat down in Naruto's apartment, him wrapped in a towel with a cup of hot chocolate, she'd worked out a plan of sorts.

"Okay. Now, I think you're on the right track. You've got to woo him traditionally, but you know Uchiha. He'll never let you get close if he realizes it. So you should set it up a bit like a joke..."

* * *

Kamitra- I believe I answered your question in the (revised) warning. (waggles eyebrows)  
LoversPastForgotten- Awesome! Gigglin's are terribly important for a healthy lifestyle! You should seek many humorous stories!  
manga-book-freak- Mwaha! Whittling. Perhaps Itachi has a small shop somewhere, hidden from the world, where he sells his homewhittled masterpieces. Works of indescribable beauty and grace...  
SmokingPanda- You have good taste. Hyuugacest awesome.  
kapusta17akuczera17- (I think that's identifiable) I-I. Thank you so much! That's perhaps the coolest compliment I have ever seen. So I'm sorry this is just a random interlude (or is it?), I'll get back to the cute bits soon, I'm just a little lost on how to write it. 


	6. Holy Chapter 6 Batman!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any monies off it.  
Warning: This has slash. Of the NaruSasu variety. So yeah, that means Naruto's all over that hot Uchiha ass. That's right, mansex afoot! Women and children evacuate first! (since if the boys leave, who will we have to videotape for later?)

* * *

"Look, Sasuke, it's not that bad of an idea." But it was. It was a bad idea. It was a Horrible Idea. The blonde cream-puff (damn him for being bigger and manlier than me) apparently understood the expression, but Kage knows knowledge had never helped. "Okay, maybe it's not the best idea. But I already bought snacks. And at least no one will know you, right?" 

"Fireworks. You want me to go see fireworks in the Mist Country. And you just decided to tell me." See, even out loud, after moderating the phrasing I'd used from a few moments earlier, it sill sounded horrible. Why would I ever want to be surrounded by slobbering, giddy, idiotic people to watch something as mundane as fireworks? Even the dobe must know enough about me to realize how far from enjoyable such activities would be for me. His presence only compounds my distaste for the whole ridiculous event. Not to mention the short notice.

And now I will crush his spirit comple- gods below! That fluff-haired boy is smiling at me.

"Let's race!" He shouted, throwing a bag of provisions over his shoulder. "See, I'll have the handicap" He says as he starts running towards Mist Country.

"How dare you leave before I make fun of you!" I shouted at his back, already running to keep him in hearing range. And he has the nerve to turn that smile on me again.

"That mean you're coming?" He asks naively. Oh, he really sets my hair on edge. I certainly can't prove him right now, so I stop dead on the next tree branch. He doesn't stop though, choosing instead to turn his head backwards and cackle, "I guess that means I win!" right in time to smack his head on a protruding treebranch and fall to the ground like a stone.

I allow a small grin to unfold on my face. Sometimes he really knows how to keep me entertained. I suppose I can beat him to Mist Country. But no staying for the fireworks.

"Hurry up, dobe" I called. However, it took a few minutes before he finally caught up with me, and I grinned again at the large bruise forming on his temple. Very becoming, with the blood running down. He seemed to notice, and wiped his eye mid-jump. Then he sped up, his slightly rumpled bag of snacks under one arm.

Of course I had to speed up as well.

* * *

"AW! We're late, Sassy-ow" I hope that tug dislocated your shoulder, you great oaf. Surprisingly we'd made it a few minutes before the fireworks began, and Naruto had led us right into the middle of a festival. And of course the hairball had to announce us to everyone there. I had the good sense to be unobtrusive, but not my old teammate. No sense of decorum at all, he pulled me next to him and into the half-circle of villagers gathering. It was odd, but I swore I recognized one of them. I'd seen that ugly hat before, I think. 

And then... then they started clapping. Really, honestly clapping. In the center of the hub-bub, I spotted that affront to fashion headgear. This time I strained to remember who it belonged to. Perhaps that snot-nosed brat from our Genin days? Back when we traveled through Mist Country for the first time, there had been such a boy. That had been the first time I'd used the Sharingan, an important time for me. No one here was affiliated with the Uchiha though, why would they care?

Then I noticed Naruto. While I'd been stunned into introspection by the applause, he'd been dragged into the crowd by a group of adoring fans. Despite the fading light, he looked to be glowing under the goodwill. His adorable fox-grin was in full force, slitting his eyes when he paused to laugh at someones comment. So, clearly it was the dobe's day. But what had he ever done in his undistinguished life to gain the love of these people?

I allowed the wave of townfolk to push me back past the vendor's booths and felt the snap of salty wind. That's right, we'd been racing across a massive bridge, but all the activity had pushed this thought to the back of my mind. After all, we still hadn't determined who won the race. We never decided on a finish line, so when we reached the crowds I allowed myself to drop back. I hope he didn't take that as a concession- wait. Bridge.

Oh Hokage, this was Naruto's Bridge. How could I have forgotten? And all these people with their adoring faces were likely the only Naruto could recall from his childhood, much less his adult life. Obviously that would make tonight the anniversary of that ill-fated day when the creepy-girl Nin and her boyfriend kicked it.

No one will ever accuse me of being sentimental, but I decided to give the boy his room tonight. Perhaps he had anticipated this sort of reaction from the villagers, but regardless, there was no way I could compete with fans, especially in the case of my attention-starved colleague. Not that I was uncomfortable with crowds or anything.

Before my foolishness could be noticed, the populace started dispersing, towards what I can only assume was supposed to serve as the viewing area for the fireworks. While I would have no problem returning to Konoha even in this darkness, something kept me. Now that I was here, I might as well stay and enjoy the plebian display.

It had nothing to do with the way that blue-haired chit was hanging all over Uzumaki. Obviously he was a Mist villager, also obviously not a ninja by any stretch of the imagination. Most of his interest appeared to be some sort of demented form of hero worship, misdirected towards the blonde ass. Wait, not his ass. The boys attention wasn't focused on Naruto's ass, Naruto was an ass. The boy wasn't checking out his ass, was he? Oh thank Hokage, that wasn't a serious stare, he was just checking for a wallet or money pouch. That relaxed me, and I was able to start looking about for a route with the least people through the crowd and towards my apartment in Konoha. A pickpocket, even a cute one with big green eyes wasn't going to phase Uzumaki. I could leave now with a clear conscience, so I planned to.

Just then the fireworks started, and against myself I paused to watch the show. I couldn't think of the last time I'd seen fireworks, but it must have been over six years ago. However it was hardly worth thinking about. My childhood, the childhood of team seven, had been nothing if not repetative. While looking up, I hoped my adulthood would be less redundant. Or it could be just as formulatic, but with some sex. I wouldn't mind a little of that thrown in.

"What'cha thinking about Sasuke?" There was a kunai at his throat before I knew what was happening. I wished for a moment I could actually slit the smarmy bastard's throat without thinking about it. Sadly there was far too much politics involved- what with Naruto being the secret Rokudaime-in-training and me being the dirty betraying Uchiha. I slipped the throwing knife back into one of my numerous and useful pouches.

"I hate you so much right now."

"Saucy. I like that in a lady."

"I was about to go back." I deadpanned this, just to try and get the point across.

"But we just got here" That was ridiculously cheerful. A few nearby villagers shushed him.

"What happened to your boyfriend?" I asked this time, discretely checking for any missing cash. Naruto smirked in the dark, which was lit by a bright flash of gold. He sat down next to me on one of the blankets I'd procured from a vendor, too close for comfort.

I could smell his spicy sent over my shoulder, practically feel his breath on my neck. "Too young and poor for me." He whispered in my ear. I shuddered against my free will. Why did he have to make fun of me like this? My god, he was very nearly flirting with me, the pretentious prick! My first instinct was to back away and cause bodily harm and in great amounts. My second was to simply cause many grevious injuries to his person. I went with my third instinct, which was to act unaffected by this outrageous banter.

"So what is your type, dobe?" And warning bells were screaming in my head. What was I doing, what was I thinking? Clearly I can't be thinking of anything at all, otherwise I would never, ever have answered with that soft flutter in my voice. The flutter suggested I was interested, when I most certainly was not. I was the furthest thing from interested in hearing this blond fruitbat's-

"Well..." He murmered. "I like 'em sassy." Oh Gods. Oh gods almightly. He was defiantly flirting with me, and he'd probably brought me here, to this place, as a date. A date with Naruto Uzumaki, the idiot of Konoha, and I hadn't even realized what he was doing until just this instant. I hope he hadn't meant to get swamped by those fans, it was in bad taste to leave your date like that and- so not the point here. This time I really did hurt him, a swift elbow to the stomach. In his defense, someone with his reflexes should have had no trouble dodging, but he took the hit manfully. I didn't even whine about it, which I had been half expecting.

"So." He muttered, when he'd gotten his wind back and returned to his spot on the blanket (an empty spot, a veritable wall of body language, had developed between us by this point). He even managed to appease the villagers behind him, who were quite upset about missing a brief part of the display. I hesitated to remind them that fireworks were in the sky, not along the horizon, certain this would only ignite their ire. I raised an eyebrow at my date (apparently). "How long." I asked. Although it didn't sound much like a question, I wasn't in the mood to split hairs at this point. This seemed to surprise Naruto. And now for the stall by deflecting with a joke.

"Does sharing lunch count? Because that one time with Kakashi and the bells, you totally shared your lunch with me. Which would put us at-"

"-six years. Not funny. Would you like me to rearrange my kunai in your stomach?" I stared him down, and after a moment he cracked.

"A week ago. You remember the Jounin dinner?"

"But Sakura-oh. You sneaky blond bastard." Now I understood what all the odd looks at that dinner had been about. I'd been to angry at Naruto at the time to realize just how... romantic it looked. I had fallen right into his homosexual plot. His extremely manipulative homoerotic plot. Even though I wanted to cut him into very small pieces and scatter them across the five great countries, but I had to just take a moment and reflect on how impressive the whole thing was. All of Konoha thought I was dating Naruto, in a rather serious relationship even. It was... it was good.

"It could help with the fangirls. Not the fanboys, for obvious reasons." Naruto supplied. And there goes my shred of respect. I turned to stare him in the eyes, letting out a ridiculous amount of murderous intent flare outward. The couple to the right of us shuddering without knowing why.

"I could kill you now and tell them the Kyuubi took over and I had no choice." I whispered harshly. Naruto looked shocked and a little insulted. He glared right back, but there was no intent to back up the physical gesture.

"Or you could take a chance on me." He growled.

And suddenly, I couldn't think of anything to say. This boy, this man who had become the center of my life since returning to Konoha. The man I perhaps a little lusted after. I certainly wasn't watching for the nindog boxers. A man who knew how to manipulate me more perfectly than even my Nii-san.

A burst of red sparks far above illumiated us with imperfect clarity.

A stubborn son-of-a-kunoichi-bitch that had tricked me into this mess. A cursed idiot who had never learned when to quit. With the prettiest blue eyes-

"Why." Again, we both knew it was a question. Naruto sighed, then rallied.

"I can make things interesting." He hazarded.

"I don't like interesting." No way I was sold on something so boring. Gennin used that as a pick-up line at school dances.

"I can make them fun." Now his ears were turning red, a sure sign he was becoming nervous. I refused to find it adorable.

"I hate fun, you know that." That was an even worse suggestion. Absently I wondered if he knew I was hoping he would convince me. Perhaps if he did he wouldn't be so desperate.

"I could make you happy." Suddenly I realized he was serious, or as close as the basket case could get to being so. Not that this put new perspective on the dating me behind my back, I would still beat him up for that later. It might even look like a lovers spat, which would keep the ANBU off me for a whole five minutes before the Rokudaime's orders kicked in. I was forced to accept that whatever this was, Naruto's motives weren't prank related.

"I-I'll have to think about it."

* * *

Lightbeauty - Hee! Mkay. 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any monies off it.  
Warning: This has slash. Of the NaruSasu variety. So yeah, that means Naruto's all over that hot Uchiha ass. That's right, mansex afoot! Women and children evacuate first! (since if the boys leave, who will we have to videotape for later?)

* * *

Wow. I'd been invited to a poker game with the Konoha Rookie-Nine. Sure they weren't rookies anymore, all of them were Jounin, ANBU or better by this late stage in life (barely into their twenties). And sure I was from Suna, which should clearly disqualify me, but apparently Lee dating my little brother got me an in. Well, technically I hadn't been invited, per say. However dear Kankuro never checked his mail, and he had a conference in the southern villages all this week. Surely he would never notice my tiny indiscretion at his expense.

"Lookin' fine!"

"What a lovely surprise!"

"It's so good to see you again!"

"Yeah, we missed you, Tems."

"How troublesome."

Heh, those Leaf nins were something else. Sure they'd seen through my disguise incredibly easily, but not one had the good sense to pretend otherwise. Besides which, what sort of greetings were those? I smiled at Sakura and Ino, sitting next to each other on the loveseat, to show how I appreciated their sense of decorum. After sweeping off Kankuro's musty burlap sack of a cape and throwing it at Shikamaru, our host, I resolutely did not give Kiba the finger for the wolf whistle; it wasn't his fault he'd been born with tiny testicles and a brain half their size. How could I act like anything but a delicate lady with such a gorgeous example of manhood as Sasuke- hold on just a second!

I rechecked the room just in case, but my first analysis was undeniably correct, Uchiha Sasuke was nowhere to be found. And neither was Naruto, since I hadn't been irritated out of my skull yet. Ruffled and disappointed at the lack of fine men to ogle, I settled on a couch arm to chat about new techniques, criminals, and other tidbits of gossip while we waited for the remaining shinobi to show up. A few moments later Shino slinked in with hardly a word, and I noticed a small smile cross Shikamaru's face. The fat one most have noticed as well, because he squeezed the dark genius' hand in a reassuring manner.

Then I had no choice but to make a face to myself. Gods, this village was so _gay._ Sure, Shino was brooding and silent, but the class was no longer out on whether the boy was asexual, after that ridiculous debacle with the dress. Kiba hit on everything with a skirt, but all evidence pointed to him being an equal opportunity horndog, not that it did him a lick of good. I'd seen him hit on a ton of powerful Fire Country dignitaries after he'd been at the sake, or if they were wearing hakama. The bloody genius boy had loudly proclaimed his opinions on all womankind to anyone who would listen, and several women who had tried to ignore him in the bar. And if Choji snuggled any closer to his 'friend', the boy would undoubtedly be absorbed.

"Hey. Sorry I'm late." I could hardly recognize the bland voice as belonging to Konoha's number one loud-mouth. Even more curious, he had brought a date. She looked like a nice girl, too, and fimilar in a curious way. When she finally looked up to make terrified eye contact with the crowd, I recognized the dead-white eyes as belonging to the Hyuuga family. She stammered a hello, apologizing that Neji could not stop by, important super-secret mission and whatnot. I swore to myself, another gorgeous man missing. What was this world coming to? When at last she eased her way out from behind Naruto, I swore again. Holy mother of pearl, this chick had huge boobs. They were admirable mounds of fleshy perfection, so dazzling in effect Kiba had to shift awkwardly from just a glance, and even though Shino was wearing sunglasses, he was making no attempt to hide a mammary-fixation. Sure Sakura and Ino weren't staring, but they were looking rather deeply into each other's eyes on the loveseat.

Was there no limit to the weirdness Konoha produced?

Naruto, looking particularly lackluster, made excuses for Uchiha, something about an super-secret mission. Most likely the same one Neji was on. Soon after the two lovebirds split ways, and I began to wonder if their coming together was just a coincidence. Surely the brat would have shouted from the top of every tower if this lucious example of womanhood was his girl. Then again, the boy looked strangely lethargic, drifting around the sitting room with dull blue eyes.

"Love troubles?" The Inuzaku boy growled when Naruto slumped past him without so much as a secret handshake (the two undoubtedly had hundreds, created and discarded in their never ending high spirits) or even a wave. His taunt seemed to stir something primal in the blonde, who finally turned and said with a malicious smirk.

"Bite me." Clearly this was some inside joke by the way Shino and Kiba blushed bright red. It took both Shino and Hinata's calming words and a well-placed frying pan to calm the dogboy, but Naruto didn't so much and chuckle at his own jibe.

Now, I might not be the most perceptive of loudmouths and their moods, but in my expert opinion, something was seriously wrong with Uzumaki. He was barely smiling! I personally found his constant smiling to be obnoxious and abrasive, but suddenly I was beginning to suspect there were worse things. After a few moments of stunned silence, Choji elbowed Shikamaru and they were encouraged to begin the actual poker. We were split into two tables, Sakura (the pink haired one), Shino, the Hyuuga bosom, Ino, and our host were sitting around a low table just to my right. Naruto, Kiba, Choji and myself were arranged similarly on the porch just beyond the doorway. It was a little cramped until the fat one volunteered to sit in the doorway, and everyone was forced to rearrange. At roughly the same time Shino and Choji started dealing.

Things settled into a quietly boring rhythm after. Sure, there was a small upset when Ino discovered bugs on her cards ("Cheating with your bugs is against the rules, dummy!") and again when Kiba noticed I had suspended a mirror on the porch overhang and was using it to check the other's cards. Other than that, the whole affair was far too quiet. I assumed this was just normal, and Leaf nins had no sense of fun, until Choji reached across the table to pat Naruto's back comfortingly. The Uzumaki most likely kept things lively for everyone, and right now they were afraid of offending him. I was struck dumb by the idea that Naruto might really have love troubles; it was just so damned difficult to come to grips with the idea of him being serious long enough to fall in love. I folded right then even though I had a pair of kings and an ace, to give myself time to adjust. Out of the corner of my eye Shikamaru noticed my hesitation and made a noise of annoyance. At the end of the hand he said

"I'll go get some refreshments. Choji, entertain everyone." Then he walked into another room without a second word. Clearly this was part of the routine, giving everyone a time to scope out how the others were fairing. Clearly it was also a time for Ino to count out the chips, making sure no one had, perhaps, created a few extra to keep the game going. Naruto grinned bashfully when half of his chips vanished in a puff of smoke, as well as a few of Sakura's (she merely looked surprised). Choji began a short story about a recent mission, something about pudding and leather. I wasn't inclined to pay attention, as I saw Naruto excuse himself unobstructively to the bathroom. Now was my chance!

"What the devil's wrong with him?" I asked, gesturing in the direction Naruto had vanished to. Everyone in the room suddenly developed a guilty expression.

"Well, you see-"

"-Sasuke-"

"-seemed to be serious, you know."

"And now this mission-"

"-all Hinata's fault we noticed-"

"-romantic-"

It seemed everyone had something to day before the blond could return. And, naturally, it was completely incomprehensible. Luckily Shikamaru returned to tell them to,

"Shut up. I'll tell her." Thank strong poison and swift kicks for the man. I turned on him expectantly, and he turned to Choji and passed along his refreshments. I was sure we wouldn't get any, until Sakrura returned from the kitchen (I hadn't even seen her go! What finese) carrying another tray of drinks. After everyone was settled with something in the bellies, Shikamaru began.

"Last week or so ago Naruto and Sasuke, they went on a date. About time, is all I can say. Troublesome dancing around each other. They looked to be fine, until two days ago." Now Kiba chimed in. Well, this was news. Needless to say I was a highly disappointed the world had lost two fine looking young men, but my first opinion was they deserved each other. After all, what Suna nin hadn't called Sasuke the ice bitch at one point or another? If anyone should have to put up with that, he was the number one most annoying nin Uzumaki Naruto. Then again, those two together, it was kind of... hot. But only a tinsey, tiny bit.

"They went to see the fireworks in Mist Country, and were gone _all night._" His smug expression suggested he knew there could be only one explaination for that. I heartily agreed, and changed my mind. Those two boys getting it on wasn't just hotter than a scorpian shell, it was _creepy._ The genius ANBU captain rolled his eyes at this, but didn't continue. Choji stepped up.

"Sasuke came back in the early morning, alone. And from what we can tell, requested a long mission. Long-term." So not with Neji after all.

"Broke Naruto's dear heart." Sakura added, sniffling into her hand. Ino held her. And Naruto choose that exact moment to return to us, looking slightly refreshed, having splashed some water on his face. I could feel my own shameful expression mirrored by everyone in the room, not because I thought their-love-was-so-tragic or something stupid, I just hate being caught gossiping. Naruto merely raised a blond eyebrow at us, before snatching his own drink. He winked rakishly at Hinata, and the tension was broken. She stammered away, but Naruto simply pat her head.

"Don't worry Hinata, I know Neji will make you mighty happy!" With this exclamation he nearly sounded like his old bratty self. Hinata's face literally glowed while the room once again burst into drama. This time I ignored the buzzing going on; the short and sweet version appeared to be another hot man from Konoha was unavailable to the public. Instead I focused on Naruto, and an idea began to form in my mind. What if he wasn't socially inept, like everyone assumed? What if the whiskered menace was actually a brilliant manipulator; it almost made sense. If he had known what we were talking about, he had purposefully directed attention away from himself to avoid close examination. His eyes did appear a little puffy.

With much ado we settled back into our game, this time with the addition of lively talking. Everyone wanted to congratulate Neji, Hinata, or both at the same time. Clearly their road to a relationship had been rocky, not interesting in the least. More intriguing was how little Naruto, whom I guessed was the usual focal point for noise, contributed to the conversation. This lent strength to my theory of hidden intelligence for the whiskered boy, and in the middle of a game I started second-guessing all his actions. Could the outrageous prankster really be a front for a mature, sensitive young man? I reached to check my hand, unsure of my next course of action. After all, I only had enough chips for the ante plus one; this could very well be my last game if I wasn't careful. Just has I prepared to fold with my dignity intact, I heard a most peculiar sound. Who would dare walk right into a Leaf nin's house uninvited?

"I see you've already started without me." I would recognize that deadpan anywhere.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, and was across the room and all over his childhood teammate before anyone else could react. Eventually the cards he'd been clutching fluttered back to the ground, and the Uchiha pushed Naruto off. I thought this was a mite dramatic, but the show wasn't over yet. "No need to be mean Sassy-cakes! I thought you were gone for- for a long time." He finally added in the awkward silence that descended around us. I used this attempt to reach for Shikamaru's spare chips, but his hand smacked the top of mine. Bastard. Sasuke raised an eyebrow (I had won several hundred ryo last month on them being carefully maintained with tweezers) at his blond companion.

"Why would you think that?" Naruto blushed and looked down.

"Well, you left so, so, suddenly."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you-"

"I told you before we, ah, left on our... " This part seemed particularly painful- "date. I had a routine patrol of the border- they added Neji at the last minute." Sasuke explained with the exasperated patience of someone experienced with talking to imbeciles. Naruto blinked.

"Oh. Yeah." Everyone in the room sweatdropped at this. Nevermind, I retract my previous comments on this kid retaining even the bare minimum of intelligence. This brat was clearly so stupid if he wanted to have a thought he would have to shake his head and hope the only two brain cells he had left collided. There was a brief pause in their exchange, before Naruto turned to his audience and cried happily.

"He GOT me something!" Then he did a happy present dance. Sasuke, completely shamed, handed over an irregular package wrapped in tissue paper grudgingly. Naruto gasped when he saw what was inside, then refused to show everyone. He turned a small glare on Sasuke then, but the pale boy appeared impervious.

"Can we see?" Sakura asked softly. Naruto hesitantly removed the rest of the tissue paper to reveal a minute fox, whittled with perfect detail. It hadn't been pained, but the eyes had been inlaid with small blue stones. Everyone in the room tensed for a moment, before seeing Naruto's beaming face and relaxing into grins of their own. I was surrounded by lunatics, but the outward signs quickly passed, and Choji suggested we all resume our game. Personally I thought this was all ridiculous. Both boys looked awkward as hell around each other and were pretending not to. However, I couldn't shake the feeling the gift was significant. Perhaps because I'd heard somewhere that one of the S-class nins was in hiding, using whittling to make an honest living off the nin radar. No, it was how Sasuke had willingly shown emotion in front of a crowd. Admittedly these were his friends, but the ice bitch must have thawed considerably to allow such an open display of affection. Then there was how poignant Naruto's reaction had been. If you spent too much time around him, you realized all of his gestures are dramatic to the tee, but, something about this struck true. And damn, how girly had his gasp been! Gaara might even crack a small smirk when he heard about this.

For a few moments we were unsure of how to proceed with a new member, but Naruto graciously offered half his rather substantial pile (pure luck!). Now things were in full swing, with Naruto making chatter and good spirits abounding.

As expected, before long I was out of the game, all my chips gone. I wasn't without company, soon Kiba joined me. I spent several enjoyable minutes telling him exactly what I would do to his innards if he ever tried to touch me without having gained my full permission. Choji was next, and after heading to the kitchen to make himself a small snack, he joined us on the couch to talk politics. I assured him Lee's ambassadorship was going wonderful, although I avoided just how close Gaara and him were. No need to be a gossip. Shikamaru and Shino left around the same time, and someone suggested the winners consolidate at one table.

Choji smiled fondly at his remarks of 'troublesome this' and 'troublesome that', and you could tell from his face he believed the only reason Shikamaru had left was because the man was getting bored. I glanced at the faces of the remaining players and had to disagree. Their poker faces were immaculate, except for Naruto. But then again, his faces were misleading more often than not. The genius had lost fair and square.

I couldn't help but laugh at the last three players. Team Seven never could get along. Naruto pet his fox, claiming it was his good luck charm. Sakura dealt, and when everyone had their cards the betting commenced. No one was really surprised that the blond fool went all in right away, but then Sasuke matched his move. Then, just for the hell of it, Sakura joined in. There was a moment of heated glaring between the three of them, while I rolled my eyes at their silliness. Everyone waited while their cards were laid down. Naruto went first, grinning his foxy grin with a complete crap hand, ace high. Everyone coughed, not in the least surprised. Sasuke went next, his face blank for an even worse hand. Naruto chortled, petting his fox again and claiming victory. The real moment was when Sakura laid down two pair, kings, with a superior smirk. She burst out laughing at Naruto's crestfallen expression.

After that I felt little else of the party was worth mentioning. However, as everyone was clearing out, I did happen to notice Naruto offer to walk Sasuke home. For a moment he looked like he would argue, but eventually accepted without a word. Instead, he offered his hand. In response, Naruto gifted him with the sweetest smile I'd ever seen.

* * *

Lightbeauty- Hee. You are in fact on the bottom of the chapter, an important part of this seventh installment! (laughs) That's just about how Temari sees Naruto (me too) as an idiot with flashes of brilliance.

Random Person- Thanks. Neji and Hinata are too cute for their own good.

DarkMiko13- Sasuke is pretty much an adorable uke. And nothing shouts uke more than being chased. Now, I'm not saying he's always the girl... but with those looks... (grins knowingly)

SmokingPanda- Waha! Don't be upset, I thought it was rather lame line. It needed a soundtrack.

just a random romantic- (stuffs face with cookies, eyes full of love and appreciation)

LoversPastForgotten- Thanks. I've always felt good characterization is terribly important to a fanfiction (especially to a fanfiction, I mean).


End file.
